i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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