Me too!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
