What a fucking waste of an outfit
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize