He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
