I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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