so explain again why im purple
no
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
