I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
