They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
