hell yes lets make some ravioli
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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