she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
