My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
