I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
