Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish i was in the wii world.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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