Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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