Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
