i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
