...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
