Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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