I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
