so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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