I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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