dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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