what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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