You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
