The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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