She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I lost the right to judge tonight
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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