I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
