She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
