So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
