Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize