You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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