Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
