Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
