Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
