My brain says no but my pants say off.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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