They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
