first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
