Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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