she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
