How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
