Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
