I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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