I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
