i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
