First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
