Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this boner is exhausting
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
