I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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