Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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