yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
