Michael Bay diarrhea
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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