I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
