I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
