First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
