remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
