i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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