Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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