glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
