Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize