I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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