Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
