My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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