Dual....:-)
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
false alarm. still invincible.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
