NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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