Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
