"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
