i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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