Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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