I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
