Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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