So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
